I woke up really early. 6.58 am is early.
My raging cough wouldn’t let me sleep. And as the symptoms of a migraine threatened to take over, I took solace in the arms of Coldplay’s The Scientist and O.
Chris Martin kept humming away… making even the most heart-breaking song sound extremely beautiful. Then again, there is always beauty in things that are broken.
Such heavy thoughts. Obviously it’s the migraine talking.
Anyway, my thoughts inadvertently direct themselves towards you. It’s frustrating how sometimes things just seem to revolve around one person.
I’ve always prided myself in being able to express every single thing I want to. I ALWAYS find the words and the emotions to blurt out how, why and what I feel. Sometimes, I get so flustered and frustrated when I can’t understand what’s running in your head. My constant need to express, makes me a stranger to the million things you desperately try to tell me through tiny, tiny, inexplicable ways.
It could have been the time you walked up to me and made me drink that particular cough syrup that I hate, because, you know… “It ‘actually’ works”.
That ridiculous time when your fingers, funnily ran on the outline of my lips, if only to wipe that traitor lipstick that crossed the border. It’s such a heady feeling, but I blame Chris Martin’s voice, that at this point… is surreal and fills my room as it does in my head.
It could have been that boring Sunday evening. I was sick and I needed to have a cupcake. You bought me a pack of them and even let me take a giant swipe of the frosting of your share.
As we sat in the yellow-lights of that pastry shop, you cracking your stupid jokes, me pretending not to laugh at them, but failing miserably EVERY SINGLE time, a familiar warm feeling settled in my stomach. It wasn’t the cupcake I just know.
You’re not that high that hits suddenly, only to leave just as soon as it arrived. You’re the happiness… the feeling that I’m only too familiar with… the one where I know that.. that damn migraine is slowly lifting. Clearing my thoughts, eyes and mind all at once. It could have been that night, when the day’s tiresome events wanted you to go to sleep… but you waited patiently on the phone, because I lost someone dear.
You know, I’ve always been looking for the big, beautiful charming gestures that will sweep me off my feet. The ones that are so beautiful that only golden tales can be woven out of them. I’ve grown so accustomed to listening to beautiful episodes of the many insanely-awesome people in my life that I forgot to pause and see that hidden somewhere in the silence and lack of words were… well you.
Words could be my forte… but you have a way with silence.
Like I said… it’s very intoxicating. Intoxicating in a good way.
There could be a million scientific reasons that explain why I feel like I’m feeling (the disgusting tasting antibiotics could be one too)
But my reason… is just going to be you.