Gym diaries: Day 3 – Alone time.


This is by far the worst day at the gym. Yes,  day one was ok,  day two a pain.  But day three? Ouch.  It was also a good day.  My car kissed a pavement and the hickey that was left behind is quite bad.  Also, I’m going through the I-cant-sit without help phase.  I also can’t stand up without help.

I used to have resting-bitch-face syndrome,  but now,  I have ouch-every-part-hurts syndrome. Where my face goes from 😀 to -_- in two minutes.  Forgive my use of emoticons,  it’s just easier to communicate.

As I kept jogging,  for what seemed like 15 hours,  I realised that only 1 minute and 2 seconds had passed.  Ah,  troubles don’t last forever. In this case, it lasted exactly for 15 minutes.

So,  while working on this machine,  called…  well,  I call it the step-up, I looked at my self in the mirror and I couldn’t help but laugh.  I looked funny,  the rut tut rut rut  sound was filling my ears and I realised that this was the first time… in years I had done something for myself.

I barely recognised my trainer, but I did  recognise the bald man who gave me some judgmental looks on day one. Despite all the weirdness,  it felt so nice.  No one knows me, I don’t know anyone.

For the first time,  in my life,  I realised there was no friend,  no one to talk to… and you know what?  It felt so awesome.

My only thought was to stay put on the machine and not fall off.  That stuff is tough. For once all the troubles in the world,  all the car damage, did not matter.

It felt like someone had pumped a high dose of pain-killers,  but ( I’m going to get all philosophical) into my soul.  The physical pain still existed,  but there was also a peace. And a lot of pain, I mentioned pain before haven’t I?

We need that for ourselves.  To be able to do something alone.  Something… anything,  just for alone.

I don’t want to sound like a self-help book.  But,  hey…  since I’ve already crossed that line,  can I please continue? I’m taking your silence as an acceptance.

Getting fit was always on my to-do-list. I kept pushing it. Until now. Yes, the pain is terrible, yes I feel crazy… but I also love the fact that, this is something I’m doing for myself.

Don’t push off what you’ve been planning to do. Work on it. Make a list. Do that damn thing. Start now and keep ticking off the things from the list. There’s no better feeling that giving yourself small gifts.

It could be something as simple as learning to drive or even finishing all your zumba classes. Start it, finish it and learn.

As I limped back to my car, I wondered what song would play on shuffle.

Once my shoes were off and I started the car, obviously the music started playing. Today, Chris Martin’s voice filled my car, and The Scientist started playing.

This time though, it was  tricky and I had to delicately decode the message.

Nobody said it was easy,
It’s such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard,
Oh, take me back to the start…

Yes Chris you’re right.

I’m feeling you Chris… Just feeling you…

Not feeling you up. Just feeling you.

*creep alert*

No one said it (gyming) was easy. But, I sure as hell don’t want to go back to the start.

No way am I going to go through the pain from day one to day three.

No. Just no.

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