Last year, October 2014, you were panicking. You were going to turn a year older in a few days… 25, you thought was a major deal, well, what do you think about 26 then?
(This letter is to my 2014 self)
How are you? I already know the answer to that one, so you’re fine. BTW the year will be fine too.
In the 365 days that will come and go you will be skeptical, worried and frankly a bit dramatic.
But you will change,
I wish I could tell you not to worry about all the things that you can’t control. But knowing you, it would be of no use.
Stay calm, take a deep breath and read on.
As you try to make your way through lanes and lanes of memories you will often bump into those you never wanted to meet. You will feel the strain of a home without J. And every time you bump into her memory, which will happen quite often, you will feel a dull ache.
You wouldn’t believe it, but a few relationships will be strained. You won’t cut ties, but you won’t work on them either. Which brings me to the next point, why wouldn’t you? I wish you valued certain relationships more.
You will also rediscover a friend. One who will tell you when you’re being a pain, but someone who will also be your net. A friend will move to another city, you knew that would happen… but nothing will prepare you for the sudden void. She will, however, continue to be a pain. The ones who have stood by you will continue to do so… and you will be eternally grateful to them, even though you get angry with them randomly.
Please don’t buy that dress for the New Year. It won’t zip up properly and every time you see it, you will want to punch yourself.
You will eat Tiramisu in a gazillion places and you will still crave for more.
Your Mondays will become much more eventful. And you will be glad they did.
You will drive much more and yes, you will continue screaming at people.
You will love yourself, despite all your flaws.
But the best thing of all,
You will know that age is just a number.