If love is a battlefield, darling
Then, I’m already dead.
You thought we could be friends
After all that we’ve been through.
But I need to survive,
So how could I ever betray myself and befriend you?
What you’re holding on to is long gone. All that remains is the skeleton of what you once loved.
Please bury it.
I think it’s time to go.
I leave behind memories and love, but I hope I have taken away all the sadness.
Don’t let the pain blind you, don’t let it change you. Let it gently lead you to the path you were always meant to walk.
I have loved you from a distance, I have loved you from close. And now I must learn to love you from wherever I am going. Or perhaps, not love you at all.
It’s time to go.
We don’t just bury the dead.
Sometimes those alive are laid to rest too,
In ways that we never thought we would.
Some days we bury their thoughts,
Unbearably beautiful, warm hands that kept yours safe.
Other days we bury their photos,
Unable, unwilling to delete them.
On others we dig deep holes and drop their words,
Their love and smile always follows.
Some days we bury our lives spent together,
But on most days, we quietly bury ourselves.
One day the sun came up.
I truly never believed it would.
But it did.
The cloud of darkness still existed inside of me,
Thundering and lighting up with hurt and sadness,
Though one would argue it was the latter that took precedence.
But I knew that one day it wouldn’t feel like this.
So I stepped out to take in some sun,
As the storm continued to rage inside.
Life is messy, stressful and downright difficult. But it’s incredibly beautiful too.
So when you’re in a slump and the skies are all cloudy and you can’t see a single damn star,
It becomes imperative to shine brighter for yourself.
Cut yourself some slack, give yourself a break,
Take a deep breath and set that weight aside.
You don’t have to ignore it forever, but you sure as hell can set it down for one day.
When you’re stronger, revisit it and take all the decisions you’re supposed to,
But today, you must rest.
I’ve been meaning to tell you that things are going to be okay. Maybe not the way they used to be, perhaps not the way you once wished it would.
But, you are going to be okay.
I don’t know if everything will work out in the end, but I know that you’ll be fine.
The scars from your battles will be gentle reminders of how you survived your worst nights. You will painfully remember that Saturday evening when you boarded the flight, without a single shard of hope.
But you’ll also remember how you made it to your destination.
Life is hard. The lows are somehow entrenched in our memory, while the highs seem so fleeting.
But if you’re breathing,
And your heart is beating,
And your brain, lungs and every other part is functioning well,
Then you’ll survive this, no matter how times in the past you fell.
And if it’s getting difficult please remember this.
Everything comes to an end.
Good, bad and life.
I’m beginning to wonder if you’re even reading this. Are my words reaching you? Are they providing you any solace at all?
How was your day? I ask far too many questions but I’m not nosy, I’m just wondering how you are.
I hope you get enough sleep these days. Tell me, has winter reached your doorstep yet?
I wonder if I should even post this letter. Or do I let it get lost in this huge world where unrequited love lives in every corner?
I’ve been thinking about you.
I close my eyes and remember your smile. The way your hand felt in mine – warm and soft. The way my heart slowed down as you held me close in your sleep, even when you snored heavily in my ears.
I have never felt yearning as I have since you’ve been gone. I have tasted it in the long evenings, as the sun slowly set.
I have felt it during a lonely lunch, surrounded by beautiful friends; On the way back home, in the elevator and in my room. I have crossed the road with it, as it held on to my dress, scared it would be left behind.
And then, on some days it feels like I’m drowning, on others I barely make it to the surface.
So if you ever get this letter, know that I miss you more than I can ever explain. Know that you’ve left a hole so big in my life that all the cold is beginning to seep in.
There’s so much more I’d like to ask you, darling,
But I’ll only end with this,
Won’t you come back home, please?
I came back home
Tired and defeated,
With two packages in hand,
My heart and my bruised ego.
The ego was my doing,
The heart I gave to you for safe keeping.
It slipped from your beautiful fingers several times,
But this time it broke before you could grasp it.
So that’s that.
I came home with two packages in hand.
One was my doing.
The other was yours.